What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating.

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Q: Why was the little boy upset? A: His nose was glued to the sidewalk.

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Batman and Superman switched sidekicks. Superman didn't want Robin.

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Why do Chinese people have flat faces? Air bags.

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If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

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What is the least racist animal? A panda. It's black, white and Asian.

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7 chickens ran down the road. One ate a spider. He is now the fattest chicken.

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A Haitian walks into a bar. It collapses.

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? Because she was a mother catering her child's sporting event.

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What did the engineer say to the supervisor? Hi.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was depressed for a long time and decided to end his life by getting hit by a car.

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Why did the woman lie down? She was dead

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whats worse then girls playing sport ? girls cutting grass

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Why did the black family cry? Tyler Perry died

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You know what likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.

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why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

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Q: why do english soldiers have red coats? A: to cover the blood stains, so they can still lead their platoons when they are shot. why else?

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How do you make someone think your wierd? Pretend to be a panda.

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Whats Brown and fluffy ASIAN TITS

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Tom and Phill are eating ice cream Tom challenges Phill to a contest to see who can eat their ice cream in one bite Tom finishes his in two bites Phil in one Then he looks like he got a brain freeze Tom notices and says "You idiot: you got brain freeze!" Phill turns around and says "No, I have a brain tumor."

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What is a life without options.... an optionless life

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A girl and her family were walking by a cliff. Suddenly - due to a a part of the cliff falling away - her family fell over the edge and died. The girl ran to the bottom of the cliff and saw her family's body's strewn across the rocks, blood everywhere. She didn't have a phone on her and so could not call the police. She called over a man she saw in the distance. He asked "What's happened?". Just managing to stammer the words through her tears she said "My entire family fell off a cliff and died". The man unzipped his trousers and said "This really isn't your day is it love?"

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Q: What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? A: They both have handlebars except for the duck!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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