Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

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What did the single guy do on Valentine's Day? Celebrate his birthday since he was born on the same day.

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What's made of wood and has an eraser? a 2x4 i lied about the eraser.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, Death is inevitable.

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A wanted man walks into a bar. The police come and take him to jail.

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Roses are blue Violets are green I have issues, What should I do?

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Why did the gambler sell his house? Because he needed money to pay for male hookers.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Nothing, we eat pizza and we respect Jews.

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women rights

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A man walks into a bar, he now has a mild concussion

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At least now we know, that most people are not like that, and with that sentence, my desire to see humanity as a whole happy, is dead. Thank you, you have made me realize that for each and every thing positive I have found within myself, I believed that I was simply learning more about how to be an average human being. I admire you, yet as painful it feels not to deny the truth, much of what I admire within you, reminds me of my self. Share that money with me, but as a gift, not as a contract, as a friend, not as someone buying me out, because my values might not be much, but for now, its what remains of the world I sought to create. Let us speak some other time, It was nice meeting you again Red, you always dig your way into my core, where I discover that I am stuck in life because I still sad deep inside, and then you take some of that sadness away.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? Neither has he.

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10 people walk into a bar. 6 hours later, 3 more people walk into the bar. There are now 12 people in the bar, and one corpse in the dumpster out back.

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What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

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Who swept the woman off her feet? A kidnapper

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Q: What did the blind boy get for his birthday? A: He doesn't know

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

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who was the alien over LA? adalia rose

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What lumpy and pointy? A horny woman with breast cancer

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if i have 2 bananas, and you have 2 bananas, then together we have 4 bananas what are the chances?

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A man walks into a bar and orders a sprite. Everyone in the bar looks and him funny and then laughs. He then tells them, "I would rather satisfy myself with a cool lemon-lime drink than put the poisonous toxins of alchohol into my blood stream."

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What would you call the Flinstones if they were black? Niggas

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What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't already said twice.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? You did?! Oh . . .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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