On a scale of 1 to Lord Voldemort, how awkward would you say your hugs are?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did Mr. Moseley choose to not buy crest toothpaste this month? Because your daughter got an abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? The joker was raping robin too hard

thumb_up thumb_down -17

There's a black, afghan, and a rhabi. Which one is Obama?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did Lebron go to Miami? Because Chuck Norris told him to.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

whats 69+2? 71

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is the last bit of snow to fall from the sky called? Nothing. Meteorologists have not come up with a scientific term for this phenomenon.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

One day a man was really horny and wanted to bang his wife that night, so he took soom horns and banged them against her skull until his wife bled to death. He was later sentenced for homocide and to this day has been in prison

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you know a blonde's been in your refrigerator?? There's lipstick on the cucumber!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Wanna see me count to ten? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

The guys Joke above me is funnier^.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A blind duck walks under a coffee table. Luckily, it was shorter that the table, walked underneath, and continued unharmed. Then it was eaten by a cat it couldn't see.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

so theres this big moose, and it walks into a convenience store and asks the lady bitch "where are the potatoes?" and she says "ehh, down aisle 5" so he goes down isle five, and there aint no potatoes

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse than getting dumped? Being molested by a crazy hobo

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A rabbi walks into a bar, in traditional Jewish garb. The bartender takes one look at him and says "Sorry, you'll have to leave". The Jewish gentleman says "Why, don't you serve Jews in here?". The bartender replies "Of course we do, but we just found asbestos in the walls and we're closing for remodeling." The rabbi politely apologizes for making misplaced assumptions about the bartender's place of business.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

My friends all use twitter but i dont know how to use it, so i said i will carry a megaphone around saying what i am doing at random times. Like yesterday i was in the library so i said into my megaphone "i am in the library" Yay i got 3 new followers, 2 of them were cops. Jokes From Blox Computers Corporation [Thailand] Bellow Joke In Thai: ?????? Twitter ???????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ? ???????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? "i am ??????????" ??????????????? 3, 2 ????????????????????

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why do monkeys fly with their wings? Because Elephants tend to run out of battery.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you start a riot in Mexico? Roll a penny down the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

If i was a painting... Id hang myself

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there? Alzheimers

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops