Why did the little pig squeal? Because he was going through blades at a slaughter house.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Why do penguins wash their clothes in tide? They don't. As artic-dwelling birds, they don't have access TV or magazines and as such, are impervious to influences via commercials and written advertisements. Also, obvious tuxedo jokes aside, they don't really wear clothes.

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What did the man get when he returned from Africa? AIDS

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What did the sick kid say to Make a Wish foundation? To get better

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Beans, beans good for the heart, the more you eat the more likely you are to grow into a healthy young man/woman with low risk of heart disease.

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Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

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Person 1: "Ask me if I'm a rock." Person 2: "Are you a rock?" Person 1: "No."

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What do you call a black man on a horse? A BLACK MAN A ON A HORSE.

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What did the rapper Proof say when he got in a fight? Nothing, Proof is dead.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted to get to the other side! why did the chipmunk cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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Have you seen Whitney Houston's new house? Neither has she.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He's dead now.

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit a talking Muffin."

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Knock Knock whose there brian Brian who oh because im chinese you assume my second name is Hu? terribly sorry theres been a misunderstanding, i was asking you surname, i should have been more specific! No it my fault, i dont know why i overreacted my second name is Hu its ok, what can i do for you? is it allright to come in for some noodles? are you paying? only a reasonable price ok then, dont see why not

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What did the Nazi put into the oven? Bread.

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

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What do you call a billionaire who lost a large portion of their net worth? A millionaire.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, killed 6's family and made him watch...

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What did Helen Keller say to the leper? Buaaaaguuuhloo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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