Man walks into a bar, Has a few drinks and goes home.

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what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

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What did the Nazi Death Camp Guard say to the escaping prisoner? - Nothing. He shot him in his face.

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Why did the head football coach go to the bank? Not to get his quarter back cause that'll cost him at least ten million a year.

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What's dried up and smells like potatoes? Potato ships and school french fries.

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what do you call a tall skiny kid with a very big ego autistic

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Why did the chicken cross the dairy farm? Sex.

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When a suicide-bomber went to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

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why did Susay fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms

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What did the "gangster" looking black guy ask the white guy he approached randomly on the street? "Excuse me sir, are you aware of the injustices done toward the jewish community that has been the decline of western society since the reclamation proclamation?"

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why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a pedophile.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Not Suzy" "Why?" "Because she has no arms"

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How many Asians did it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1 Asians are just like every one else

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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Brown Bear, Brown Bear what do you see? I see some poachers looking at that tiger over there.

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What happened when the child missed his school bus home? He had to take the long 6 mile walk back home and did not return until dinner time.

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this sentence will end in the way you expected.

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25

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Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Get in the car."

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Yo momma is so fat, that when I went over to your house and accidentally stepped on a skateboard, yo momma came out and said "get the %$^# off the skateboard!"

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#Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Catherine of Aragon was one. # She failed to give him a son #He had to ask her for a divorce. #That broke her poor heart of course. #Young Anne Boleyn, she was two #Had a daughter, the best she could do #He said she flirted with some other man #And off with the chop, went dear Anne! #Lovely Jane Seymour was three! #The love of his lifetime indeed! #She gave him a son #Little Price Ed #Then poor old Jane...went and dropped dead! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! #He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Anne of Cleeves came at four #He fell for the portrait he saw! #But laid eyes on her face, and cried #SHE'S A HORSE! I MUST HAVE ANOTHER DIVORCE! #Catherine Howard was five #A child of nineteen, so alive #She flirted with others, no way to behave #The AXE sent young Cath to her grave! #Catherine Parr, she was last #By then all his best days were past #He lay on his death bed, aged just fifty-five! #Lucky Catherine- the last stayed alive! #I mean, how unfair! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #You could say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! And the moral of the story is: Never buy a car without knowing it's background.

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What is black white and red all over A tree in black, white, and red paint.

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sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssLOLIAMINTHESIDEBAR:Dyouaregaylol

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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