Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

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why was the black man wearing a ski mask? he was skiing.

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What does an unemployed black man and a mexican have in common? They both like to shop at forman mills because they have reasonably priced clothing items.

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Q: How do you stop a baby from crying? A: You hit it with brick.

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What do you call a three toed 9 foot man. His name.

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What's black and is as fast as a car? A black car.

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Always put punctuation at the end of your sentence

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Hi rebecca , its me that guy over there. purple moneky blue dishwasher. aka JUMANJIIII

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What's worse than stepping on legos? Massive genocide

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Two farmers are sitting in a cold field. One asks, "Cold day, isn't it?" The other farmer doesn't respond as he has been frozen to death and because of his death, he is unable to respond.

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how do you kill a giraffe? you don't.

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Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

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What did little Timmy find at the bottom of the well? The fact that he could no longer breathe and thus causing him to drown.

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How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

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Romans rights.

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What happened to the deaf, dumb, and blind kid? I don't know. Niether does he.

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Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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i like my babies how i like my potatoes..... skinned

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? EVERYWHERE

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How many times can the Frenchman cheat on his wife? I don't know.

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I slipped and fell in the shower today. Good thing my dad caught me

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How do you tell if a girl is pregant? Stick a banana up her vagina pull it out and see if it has a bite on it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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