Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What do you call a black man with a speech impediment? By his name.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Meals on wheels - eat up!

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Sarah went to church one day and went into the confession booth with her pastor. He made sure nobody was in the church, and proceeded to allow her to confess. He didn't molest her. However, when Sarah got home her abusive stepfather beat her to death in an alcoholic rage and shot himself. It was on the news.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids from jumping the fence into your property? Molest them.

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It was a dark and stormy night. The whole family waiting for the phone to ring as they await for a criminal to give instructions. Then the phone rings... RING RING Jeffery: "Hello? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. No sir please don't! No, have mercy! Yes sir. No sir, no. Yes sir. Bye." Donald: "What did the man say?" Jeffery: "Wrong number..."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he can make before the car hits him.

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"Hey want to hear the best knock-knock joke ever." "Sure." "Ok you start." "Knock-knock." "Whos there?" "..........."

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What do you call white people that live in a trailer park? Residents.

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What did the homeless guy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's homeless.

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A boy walks into a bar. Because he was under-age, security kicked him out as soon as possible and alerted his parents.

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why did the building fall down the terrorists came back

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Two pies where sitting in a oven when one of the pies says: God damn it's hot in here. The other pie screams out loud: HOLY SHIT A TALKING PIE!

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how can u tell if you have cancer if the doctor says so

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What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels in your presence? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

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What do u call two mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan!

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What did 7 say to 6? I hear you've been spreading stories about me.

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What did Santa Clause say to Rudolf? Nothing. Santa's not real.

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why did the black boy read a book. Because he had a book report due next week

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Why did a Monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Why did the man dig his nose? because everyone digs their nose

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When life gives you lemons.... Impossible life is not a person nor a dispenser of lemons.

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knock, knock whos there the police your son was the victim of a cruel homocide

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops