What is a vampire's favorite desert? Assuming they are real I dont think they would enjoy it in the daylight, so really there's no point.

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Do you like cats? You gotta be kitten me.

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How do you stop clowns from throwing cinderblocks at your car? Hire a hitman.

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A priest, a minister and a rabbit were seated next to each other on an airplane. They all had to pay for lunch.

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There are two cows standing in a wide, green field eating hay. The first cow says: "Moo". The second cows says: "Thats funny, I was about to say that."

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Knock Knock Who's there? The IRS. You've been convicted of tax evasion.

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Q: What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage. But I don't have a pile of dead babies either. So, yeah.

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What was the mentally challenged kids first word? He was retarded so it wasn't a word.

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*Knock Knock* "Who's There?" "Delivery" "Oh right, I just ordered pizza"

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i hate when your sentence doesn't end as you testicle.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a train? Because she was blind, deaf, and most likely uneducated in the field of train conduction.

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Roses are red Here is something new Violets are violet NOT FUCKING BLUE

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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What's worse than finding half a sticker in your apple Half a worm

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A comedian walks onto the stage. Antehumor.

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A black man, an Asian man, and an American man are in a car. Who is driving? The black man, it's his car.

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what do you call a black man that sells drugs

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half of a worm. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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How do you spell "black" when you writing an african american history essay. B L A C K

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God has put a gate keeper at a gate in heaven to listen to how everyone has died. The first guy comes and says, "I thought my wife was cheating on me so when i came home I see this man hanging off my balcony, I thought he was the man cheating with my wife, so I then push him off, but he was still alive, so I threw a refrigerator onto him, that killed him, but I felt so guilty I soon commited suicide" The gates man said, "Wow thats terrible come in." Then the next guy come and he says how he died, "Well you see I was just oiling myself up for my workout, but I slipped, and fell off my 5th story balcony, and landed in some guys 3rd floor balcony I was hanging off the ledge, and a guy came I thought he was going to help me, but instead he pushed me of and threw a refrigerator on me." The guard let him in, and a third guy came. The Guard said,"Man its going to be hard to beat those guys their just sad. Ok how did you die?" The third man said, "Picture this I'm trapped in a refrigerator...

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Where was I born? Pakistan. You?

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a man walks into a bar the bar tender says why the long face? i just walked into a bar

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Rigo your a stupid ass

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Why does the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have legs to walk and they are not able to fly across the road, like the rest of their bird friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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