A redhead walks into a bar and goes to the restroom. She needed to pee.

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What is yellow, smooth, and dangerous? Shark-infested custard

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How many penguins does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Penguins cannot screw in lightbulbs because they have wings instead of fingers or opposable thumbs, as humans do.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a load of bread.

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RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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Why are there clocks on stoves? Because it is a convenient way to tell the time.

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What do you do when someone tries to rob you at gunpoint Well first thing you have to do is think why am I in this situation? Then what can I do to avoid this again Finally think about how you're going to pay your medical bill. You were to busy thinking, to notice you just got shot and robbed.

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What is yellow and fluffy? Green fluff, I lied about the yellow part.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants.

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What do you call a man with a fork stuck in his head? A man with a fork stuck in his head

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You know what makes no cents? 100 cents because 100 cents make a dollar.

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Why did Sidney drop her ice cream? A refrigerator fell on er

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Why did Moses part the sea Because it was divisible by 2

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How do you kill a jew? In a variety of destructive manners that are illegal and I would hope you would decide against.

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If you were a booger..................... I would get a tissue so i could blow my nose.

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Mr Whelk visited his doctor. His doctor put on a sterile glove and inserted two fingers into the man's rectum. "Does this feel all right?" The doctor asked "Yes" replied Mr Whelk. "But is my wrist broken or not?

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Q: How did Mary get frostbite A: Her mother locked her in a freezer

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bees knees

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What did the guy who dropped his iPhone do? He went out and bought a knew one.

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What does Spiderman do everyday? Aunt May

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If you had to go blind, would you go blind? If you said no, then you are wrong. You had to go blind.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Polite cow who recognizes normal social cues and civilly waits for its turn to contribute to a conversation. Polite cow who recognizes normal social cues and civilly waits for its turn to contribute to a conversation who? Moo.

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Listen pretty lady, NO WHAT WE HAVE BEEN DOING FOR LIKE SIXTEEN HOURS OR SOMETHING NON STOP STRAIGHT, IS VERBOTEN! Honestly, for me its a bit of a requirement, sure girls can go all like "But you are like friendzoned to me now", but then I... Hmm, you know, not a womanizer,my wife has the right word for it, I am a seducer.... Suddenly I do not like the sound of that, actually Its not a bit of a requirement, it is TOTALLY a requirement. Say, does it bother you when I mention my wife like at randomness?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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