What did walt disney say to the Jew? Nothing. Walt Disney didn't know the man was Jewish and didn't have time to make himself acquainted with the fellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q. Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? A. Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

1

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your mother is so fat that people make rude comments about her behind her back, but they shouldn't because she's a really nice lady.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock. *Silence* Knock Knock. *Silence* Knock Knock. *Silence* *Busts open door* "Oh right... I killed Bob last week.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a blonde who likes to read? A bookworm.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the boy sharpen his pencil it was dull

thumb_up thumb_down +3

yo moma is so poor she cant afford free samples

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I really don't care how you dress at my funeral, I'll be dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your mom is so fat, she got obese and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

george goodburn is secretly mexican

thumb_up thumb_down +3

One day a man runs into a bar. He is already drunk and jumps through the window. This is illeagal, so he was arrested, stoned and killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it's in a chicken coop.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Sally cross the road? Because she fell off a tree. Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally wanted to cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What can you never see in the light, but you can in the dark? A: Darkness.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Breast cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why was 6 afraid of 7? because he's a pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock Not Yet

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red Violets are blue I am disabled, so please help me poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red. Violets blue i do fuck people. MAYBE u too?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for her birthday? A S.T.D

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man with Down's Syndrome walks into bar. Bartender asks, "why the long face?"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops