When I get aroused I get a solid snake

thumb_up thumb_down +7

when life givs you lemons, make lesbian porn

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I can count to potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the disabled man go to the shops? because he wanted a radiator panel

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did my mom smell bad. Because she is a corpse and has been dead for some days now

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Im thinking of a very long word..... L O N G

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why didn't the oven turn on? Because nothing turned it on.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted to get to the other side! why did the chipmunk cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +7

matt f stupid because no one likes him

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why where the 3 little children talking about muffins? Because muffins are smart.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

roses are red, violets are blue, apparently you are blind or else I wouldn't be telling this to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why do penguins wash their clothes in tide? They don't. As artic-dwelling birds, they don't have access TV or magazines and as such, are impervious to influences via commercials and written advertisements. Also, obvious tuxedo jokes aside, they don't really wear clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red. Violets are blue. What do flowers have to do with this joke I want to tell you?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Depends. Some are vegetarians or vegans, while most eat a mixture of vegetables and meat.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the man's motorcycle not move when the street light turned green? Because it was a filing cabinet.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the little pig squeal? Because he was going through blades at a slaughter house.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken was the boat see the genie yes but dog said meow? Last night when you were sleeping, I took a dump in your shoes and used your toothbrush to wipe my butt. Then I took your wallet and flushed down the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is better than winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Where do five gay guys walk? Where ever they want to. This is a free country, where people are free to travel as the please, no matter what their sexual orientation may be

thumb_up thumb_down +7

roses are red violets are blue i have candy im about to rape you

thumb_up thumb_down +5

bacon

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the little boy enter the white van, then leave scarred for life? He was going on a family trip within the said white van, but along the way they got in a horrible accident which involved a bus, a tractor, and finally a steamroller. The boy quickly escaped at the last second only to watch his family scream as the steamroller slowly crushed the van where they were trapped inside. He then broke down into tears and depression and finished it all by jumping off a bridge. It was a truly tragic incident.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops