- Anti Joke

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Blond answers: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat............?

Q:What the worst lie you have ever told??!!???!?!?!?!? A: I have read and agree to the Terms and Service

How much wood could a wood chuck, chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? They don't ACTUALLY eat or throw wood. Instead, they eat grasses and insects and pretty much everything else at ground level they can get their hands on. But they can, apparently, CHEW wood, and that's where the idea for this study came in. The authors decided to use the word "chuck" to mean "chew" (I suppose because upchucking is the opposite?), and wanted to see how much wood a woodchuck could chuck. They obtained 12 woodchucks (by "various means" that are not described, I picture some middle aged guy in a suit trying to stalk one), and food deprived them to ensure they would eat the wood. Then, they fed each woodchuck a 2x4 (yes) and watched how fast they ate it. All the woodchucks ate the wood, none actively attempted to toss it, and none upchucked. They could, apparently digest the wood pretty well, and consumed it at a rate of 361.9237001 cubic centimeteres per animals per day (no error bars, and the food deprivation was nuts, 12 days, leading me to think they didn't REALLY...). They note that, while none of the woodchucks attempted to throw the wood, they probably would have, had they been capable. So the next time someone asks you, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? You answer is clear! He'd chuck 361.9237001 cubic centrimeters of wood per day, which is the wood that a woodchuck COULD chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

Q:Why did the man throw his clock out the window A:Because he didn't like his clock

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? I don't know. He couldn't open it.

Q:what is a wheelchairs biggest fear A: steps

Two nineteenth century men walk into a bar. Their wives didn't complain, because if they did they'd get hit. hard.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What did my Grandmother get for Christmas? Alzheimer's.

Why did the boy in a wheelchair cry? His mum just got shot in front of his eyes.

What is the difference between a mexican and a bench? One is living, one is not.

i have read and agree to the terms of service

It said i can write my own joke so i did.

How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

Where's my tractor?

Q:what has two legs and bleeds A: a dog cut in half

why did the man die? he was shot

What did the blonde get for Christmas? A Brain

How much wood would Chuck Wood have if Chuck Wood could have wood? None, Chuck Wood has E.D.

What's black and always in the back of a cop car? The seat.

How many jews can fit into a car? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, 6 million in the ash tray

What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus? He got hit by a bus and died.

whoever said we're all soft on the inside was probably not an experienced doctor.

What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls don't talk.

Tiger Woods isn't a Tiger, He's a lion cheeta.