What did the one eyed boy say at the movie theater? 3D was a boy choice

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What's better than winning $5000 a week for life?! Winning any larger sum of money a week for life, and sex.

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A doctor walks into a bar, he stumbles backwards as he is taking his coat off, and the barman chuckles.

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The awkward moment when you have cancer.

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Why did the kid eat his homework because the teacher said it was a piece of cake

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A man walks into a bar, a man behind him doesn't.

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Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning.

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what does a granny look best in? 1950

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How many dead babies fit in a car? Ask Casey Anthony, she'll probably know.

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Why did Ian pass his CRB check? Because he committed his crimes on holiday

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Q:Why did the retarded student get called down to the office? A:Because both his parents died in a car accident.

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How does camon Die? He kills himself because he didnt make it into the marine corps

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What's black and white and red all over? A panda with red paint splattered on it

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why did the window washer lose his job. because he fell off and died.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar and gets shot.

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Why was the blond stupid? She wasnt, its just that everyone loves stereotypes

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What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

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What do you get when you cross a Poodle with a cupcake? Stop looking at these anti-jokes and get back to work.

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Wanna hear something funny? Sure. Okay,cool

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Hi i want a cheeseburger and a small fry, said bob. And then, said the guy taking the order. thats all, said bob. And then, said the guy. Ummmm ok well i take small coke, said bob. And then, said that guy. Thats all, said bob. and then, said the guy. whatever i'll take a milkshake, said bob. And then, said that guy. and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then

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What's the difference between a baby and hot dog? I don't put ketchup on my hot dog when I eat it.

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why couldnt the kid get off the couch when his mom asked him to? he was paralyzed

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange Who? Oranges are very good for you and enriched with vitamin C that is apparently good to intake when you are experiencing cold/flu like symptoms during the winter season and your doctor won't give you medication because you aren't sick enough and you already ask for medication to much because you think you are always sick with something. That's what happens when you're a hypochondriac.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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