Why did the man cry when he went to the doctor? He has a terminal illness progressed to the point of cure and would die in 3 hours.

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Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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What's worse than stepping on legos? Massive genocide

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Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

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hey! Wanna hear a bird joke? No. Well this is Hawkward....

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What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven? One is a human being and the other is a resourceful appliance.

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If your uncle jack helped you off your horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse? Yes

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A man walked into a lampost. He hurt himself.

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Two women are sitting next to each other in a bar minding their own business.

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When Kylie and Conner have a baby he will have a centimeter Schmeter!

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Knock, Knock!! Who's there?! The Police!! Open the f*cking door and get down on your knees.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its dopaminergic neurons fired synchronously across the synapses of its caudate nucleus, triggering motor contractions propelling the organism forward, while emitting 'cluck' distress signals, to a goal predetermined by its hippocampal road mappings.

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What did the comedian tell the audience? A well thought out joke that anyone can relate to because that is what the point of a joke is.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but GET IN THE VAN

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What happens to a warehouse on a full moon? Nothing

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At the time my grandfather came round to visit, what was happening in Australia? A giant spider was giving birth.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (smell my poo)

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why did the chicken cross the street? he couldn't, he lives in a rural area on a farm where there are no streets

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How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

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A: Did you know Helen Keller had a treehouse? B: No. A: Neither did she.

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How do you knock a clown off a swing? Hit it with an axe multiple times.

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whats one plus one penis

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Why did the child get cancer? Because there was a family history of it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops