Why was the man sad? Cause his dog fell off a cliff

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roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up you retarded poet!

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what do obama and terrorist have in common -they are both human

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Why did the Irishman walk out of the bar? He didn't. He's Irish

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Why did i write this joke? Because i'm a try hard.

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What's red but smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hello Carolina, let me lick your vagina.

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What did Jean Luc Picard say to Data when he saw a broken Janome Overlocker? Make it Sew

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What do you get when you mix a baby and a fork? An abortion.

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Why was the black boy late for school? He missed the bus

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Two atoms are walking down the street one day, and one of them says to the other: "Hey, wait up a second. I think I lost an electron" The first atom replied, "Are you sure?" The second atom said, "Oh, wait. Never mind. I found it."

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A middle-class family went away on vacation. While they were gone, a pyromaniac burnt down their house. Their cat was still inside.

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You write a really difficult riddle in braille and tell her to solve it.

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Hahaahahahahahahaahahahahahaahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahaahahah :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I screw with you Hahahahahahahahahaahaggahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahah

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A blonde girl walks into a car.

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What did the indian man say to the black man? "Hi."

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Do you know what is worse than getting kicked downstairs? Getting kicked upstairs because then you could fall downstairs and break your skull.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He looked both ways and saw there was no traffic.

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How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

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What starts with 'P' and ends with 'orn'? Popcorn.

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Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her.

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Q: What is George Harrison's favorite hairstyle? A: How can we know? He's dead!

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Q: Why did the lady retire? A: Because she had been working for numerous years and felt that she needed to spend more time with her family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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