What did one Lacrosse player say to the other? Let's touch shafts

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A plane crashes in the wilderness on the border of Canada and the U.S. Where do they bury the survivors? I lied. There were none.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have boobs and so do you

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Is J.P. dumb? Yes

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What happened after the man walked off the cliff? Nothing. It was a foot tall.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Hitler.

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Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

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A Chinese man, an American man, and a Mexican man are sitting in an airplane. When the flight attendant comes by with food, the Chinese and American both opt for pretzels, while the Mexican prefers crackers and makes his selection accordingly. The three sit back and enjoy their snacks separately.

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Graphed: hey kids it's time to grape ya in the mouth Girl: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Random guy who sponsors the comercial: why is she screaming isn't thus about our new grape drink? Grapist: well… yes but look at the wY she's dresses she totally wants it.

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Why are all of the cars in the left lane? Because you are in Winona MN.

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Right now I'm walking down a road shoot car rhendhhdgfgdyxchdhsggggggggggggggggggggggggg

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what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

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What do you call a stupid anti-joke? Stupid.

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What's worse than getting raped by a black guy? Getting raped by a radioactive black guy

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My friend who's a chef was stabbed by his own kitchen knife, everyone said it would be in bad taste to joke about it.

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What did the falling bridge say to the other bridge? Well bridges can't talk but if it could it, then it would say AHH! I am falling

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penis

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It's Christmas in Iraq. Merry Christmas

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whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

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A knock knock B who's there A nobody

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why did the boy have to go to the dentist he was hit by a brick

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A chicken crosses the road as a car comes by. The driver pumps the brakes and stops the car just before hitting the chicken. The chicken crosses the road safely. Onward, my noble steed !

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Statistically 9/11 Americans wont get this joke. But 7/7 British will.

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An airplane has 100 bricks on-board. If you drop one brick, how many bricks would be left? 99 -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put a giraffe inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put the giraffe inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put an elephant inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put the elephant inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Lion King gathered all the animals from the land to a meeting. Everyone came, except one. Who was the animal? The elephant. He's still inside the refrigerator. ------------------------------------------------------------------- You want to cross a river, but you know that there are crocodiles there. There is no bridge, vines to swing from, etc. How do you cross the river? Swim across the river. The crocodiles are at the meeting with The Lion King. ------------------------------------------------------------------- So you swimmed over the river, but how did you still die? You were hit by the brick falling from the airplane.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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