one day a boy was in his bed he woke up and stepped on his carpet,he then got out a bowl and some breakfast, 23 minutes later the boy rode to school on his bike and parked it in a bike room, he then sat down at his seat and pulled out his history book and waited for Mr Jonty Nicholls to finish his coffee so he could learn about hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What comes after 23? 24.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the man walk into the bar? To purchase alcoholic beverages ready for consumption.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

He was. I am sorry, he knows to much, this is for the well being of everyone, including yourself, he will be going down, the order has been given.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why didn't the man go to work? He got stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the little boy afraid of Mr.Clean? Because he reminded him of his father who was an alcoholic and used to beat him savagely.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

When was George Washington born? Who the hell knows. He's older than dirt.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Did you hear about the cannibal who ate the Olympic record sprinter? He's in prison for first-degree murder & crimes against humanity.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

knock knock who's there auntie auntie who? anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Susie had no arms and no legs.. what did she get for Christmas? Cancer. Amy was riding on a swing.. who was pushing her? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What drops its lunch every day? Yo mom

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the Jew post a free link on his Facebook wall? Because it is funny and he hoped his friends would like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what does a granny look best in? 1950

thumb_up thumb_down -12

If someone tells you to look behind you do you? No

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a green man.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

a korean man with no legs sits on a porch. He has no legs so it's considered standing

thumb_up thumb_down -12

4-4-2

thumb_up thumb_down -12

i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Yo mama's so fat, she's at risk for a number of obesity related disseases, including diabetes, hypertension, and heart dissease.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

a mexican and a black guy are sitting in a car, who's driving? the police

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why doesn't mexico have an olypics because theyre already running,swimming and jumping over the border

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What weighs 6 ounces, is extremely dangerous, and lives in a tree? A: A sparrow with a machine gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops