My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

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What did the Arab do when he got frustrated? Burned himself

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What did tarzan say when he saw the elephants? Here come the elephants

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Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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Could switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? Yes.

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I made a sandwich Lol jk, my gf made it for me

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Q. What's worst than getting kicked in the balls ? A. The holacaust

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what do you call a joke that is not a joke? not a joke

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A boy walks up to a girl and says "Do you like ice cream? Cuz I have a huuuuuge penis."

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Why is this room orange? Because I painted it orange. You didn't paint it; my mom painted it.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Tell her to inform the police that her significant other is assaulting them and that she should file a restraining order.

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You heard about that piece of shit that says no all the time? Yes, I bet you haven't though. no.

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Knock knock Who's there No one We are all on the computer

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What is worse than breaking your pencil? Flying on a magic carpet

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"what happened to the man that was walking along the cliff" he was found the next day dead with a seagull on his head.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted a car to kill him so he can get to the other side with his wife and son. In other news,I had a very nice chicken cutlet and scrambled egg dinner.

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Roses are red violets are blue when i flush the toilet i see you :)

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a mexecan guy walks in a bar he ask how much is a beer.its $400 and 55'.WHAT THATS SUCKSISH.no i just like to joke its 1 dollor.oh.....shut up go walk in a bra!!!!

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Knock, knock ... ... No one answers the door because knocks produce a quieter sound than a doorbell and the residents of the house are upstairs watching a movie.

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Why did Jimmy cross the road? Because a chicken was about to cross the road, and he wanted to be kind and help the old 72-aged chicken get across the road. Because Jimmy had a grandfather that passed away because he was too old and nobody helped him cross the road. Jimmy is haunted by that memory and doesn't want that to happen to anyone else. Especially a chicken.... Also there were no cars and his best friend chicken was on the other side waiting for him.

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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I just flew here from Cleveland, and boy are my arms tired! The people on either side of me were hogging the armrests, so I had to kind of tuck my arms up behind my head and it was very uncomfortable.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he had an undescended testicle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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