Why can't John hear what Muhammad says? John is deaf.

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Why couldn't the blonde read the road map? Because she was blindfolded and tied up in the trunk.

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Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

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Why wouldn't Jimmy ever eat his vegetables at dinner? As a young boy, Jimmy watched as a robber entered his house, suffocated his mother by clogging her airway with a cucumber, and escaped with their life savings.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock. Knock. Whos there? Not Sarah.

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Q: Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? A: A couple of pigs with questionable carpenter's skills, and maybe Red Riding Hood. Grandma wasn't so lucky.

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Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

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columbus laid an egg. he was very proud of it, but the other dudes ate it.

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What do you call a dog with 5 legs? A dog with 5 legs.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea, and neither does the chicken, for chickens do not possess the ability to reason.

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What is worse than breaking your pencil? Flying on a magic carpet

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A man with ADD walks into a bar, what did he say? Look a squirrel!!!

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Tell you something funny.

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Billy and Jeff wanted to go on an adventure so they planned a safari in Africa. Everything was going as planned until they were in a sticky situation: whether to cross a narrow bridge above the crocodiles or not. Billy tells Jeff "Hey whats the worst thing that can happen?" Jeff was diagnosed with cancer and died the next morning.

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What did the Mexican parents name their first born son? Nobody knows. He was adopted by a nice family due to the fact that his biological parents were murdered in cold blood. His foster parents named him Kevin.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? Interrupting Cow who, unlike his quiet friends back on the farm, enjoys to speak when others are nearly finished with their sentence.

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why did the kid cross the road he didnt he had no legs

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What do you call a guy wearing a white leisure suit? Mister Rourk? No, you call the dud wearing the white duds.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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I wrote a joke for 'Anti-Joke', I laughed, it was funny.

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Q: Wy did the Araib cross the road? A: To open another gas station.

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Who are you texting? YOUR MOTHER.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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