Why did the little boy drop his lollipop? He got hit by a car.

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How did the black kid apply for college? The Common App. Duhh

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i know the best knock knock joke! you start! other person: knock knock me: whos there ........

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Roses are red pineapple is yellow I'll shove your head up my ass so you can eat some marshmallows!

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Why did the frog cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Why couldn't the women cook for her family She had no arms, therefore incapable of preforming the task.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your whole family is dead And now it's time for you!

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A Jewish person was found dead in an alley way last night, Hitler did nothing wrong.

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UNICORNZ R PURPUL

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Women's rights

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When I exited the hospital one day, I spotted a sign saying "Come back soon!" Soon afterwards I saw people protesting to ban dihydrogen monoxide. The next day on tv I saw an ad for a solar powered lightbulb. Then I saw a Gun control poster. I cried, this being the dumbest thing I had seen yet, and the world was certainly doomed due to humanity's general stupidity. I saw a chicken crossing a packed road. Why did the chicken feel the urge to cross the road?

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what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

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Is your plant made out of Osmium, Molybdenum, Silicon and Sulfur? Because it's going through OsMoSiS. That was just a joke, not a pick up line. Unless I was giving a pick-up line to your plant, which I definitely wasn't...

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Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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Get the FREE anti jokes app with loads and loads of anti jokes anywhere you go, even offline! All the funniest and most popular, and loads more new ones. Why not? After all, it's free! http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/hilarious-anti-jokes-lite/id438092279?mt=8&ls=1

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What did the clinically depressed man get for Christmas? He received many of splendid gifts and a joyous day with his family. He realized that his life isn't so bad after all, and went home with his head held high. He was then eaten by a vicious looking 7.

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sweating like antoni with a girl

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What's better than being in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate your mom.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Roses are red

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a murderer.

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Why did Teddy eat dirt? Because he was hungry.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? An astronaut. He's all alone in the vacuum of space. No one hears him knocking.

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What the difference between Adolf Hitler and Michael Phelps? Micheal Phelps can finish a race.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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