Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

How did the blond become a pilot? By attending flight school, graduating, applying to an airline to which she subsequently was hired to, taking frequent training courses, and beginning work.

Whats sadder than a lost baby deer? Im too lazy too think of the rest of the joke.

Stoner Student: "Imagine if El Nino and La Nina got together and started a family and had little Los Ninos." Class Nerd: "Yeah."

Why did a jew die? It got killed by a nazi.

Me: Wanna play a game of red light and as I get closer to you, you get to call red light?? girl: Yea! okay, go! girl: green light!! Me: Sorry, firetrucks don't stop for red lights

If John has no nose, what do John's friends call him? John

why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a pedophile.

Canadians

What makes boys so stupid? They like to play with girls' hearts and break them until they spew out blood all over the place.

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could DO YO MOMM!!!

Knock Knock Who's There Nobody Nobody Who?

you know whats worse than being cold? being colder

Why did the little girl stop going to dance class? She broke both of her legs in a terrible train accident

What did the German say to the Jew? Sorry.

What do you get when a white person and a black person make a baby? A possible high functioning member of society.

People...

A german walks into a London Pub. He turns to the man on his left and says, " Hallo Kolleginnen und dort bar Mäzen. Ich bin gespannt zu sehen, ob wir eine Beziehung herzustellen, wie ich gesucht Gespräch, als ich in der wunderbaren Kultur, die London zu bieten hat. Ist das in Ordnung mit dir? Heil Hitler"

Uber Driver: "Hey I'm close, where are you?" Me: "oh, I see you!" Uber Driver: "Are you that guy in the middle of the road?" Me: "yeah, floor it"

"Lets begin, tell me about yourself," "ok, well first I'm a open book and..." "ok next" "why?" "I fucking hate books!"

Why did the polar bear cross the road? He didn't, there are no roads in Antarctica.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

Q : whats the most annoying thing on the earth with a big fore head ? A : Paige

Alchohol.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...