Wait what? I did not type that!

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Tough crowd tonight...

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Knock Knock? Who's there? (No answer)

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Why would you call a child douche bag? Cause they're sterile

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Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

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You're so fat, that a picture of you fell off the wall.

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Lady wanna go out sometime? Im not lesbian girl! Im not a girl... OUCHIE!

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Dad, they tell me I am a slowpoke at school, what can I do? ... Eh son, this is mommy, your dad died ten years ago remember?

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What's worse than the Holocaust? People trying to be funny writing the same jokes over and over.

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how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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Why did the Asian man go to bed? Because he was tired

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Did the boy ever tell you how he died? Trick questions he's dead, deceased bodies can't talk.

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Why did the black man die of leukemia? Overexposure to radioactive materials due to his career as a nuclear engineer.

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I always wanted to know what the future will hold in the decades to come... Until I realized the idiotness of my own thought for it is nigh impossible for us humans to see the future... Except... That the ancient Mayan civilization prophesized the end of the universe, which I did take into consideration as I slowly nibbled my way through the waffle cone till I had realized that I had reached the paper surrounding the cone and immediately spat it out for it leaves a fowl taste In my mouth, then continued eating my ice cream as I pondered the future and the anti-climatic ending of this anti-joke.

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'A blonde', 'a brunette', and 'a redhead' are ways of referring to women who have hair of a certain color.

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An Asian man, a black man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They all buy the same drink, are charged the same price and say " We are all equal! " They then continue on with their days normaly.

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What would a prostitute do if she was given a million dollars? She would probably diversify her portfolio. First, she would pay her rent. She would buy some groceries and a present for her mother. She would then invest it in stocks and low-yield bonds. She would they buy a vehicle. This win might not affect her continuance in her job.

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Why will this joke be the most hated? Because it sucks

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Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Jehovah's Witness." "Jehovah's witness, who?" "Just Jehovah's Witness. Your doorbell is not working."

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, a bus hit it half way along and it died instantly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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