A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Why didnt little timmy have a pencil? He was poor

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haha

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H20" and the second one says, "I'll have some H20 too." The second scientist dies after drinking hydrogen peroxide.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Why was the women's basketball player laughed at. The slippery floor caused her to stumble and fall.

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A squirrel runs into a bar and out-runs the bartender to get some assorted nuts on the table then runs out of the bar

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A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

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Why did the girl go fishing? Because she was the bait

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a cucumber

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Where did the black man sleep? In his house with his wife and children.

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7

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Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

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Knock Knock. I paid good money for a doorbell. Use it, please.

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Two guys are on a bridge. One commits suicide, the other one is called John.

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Why did the fat man go to America? Because he was excited to get of work for vacation.

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Q- what the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? A- The Wheelchair

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Knock Knock Who's there? Pussy... Do you get it? Think about what you just answered.

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Q: What can you never see in the light, but you can in the dark? A: Darkness.

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What can move people but not rocks.. Poop

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A man with Down's Syndrome walks into bar. Bartender asks, "why the long face?"

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Why can you punish cows but not fish? Because you can ground beef, but not fish!

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A blonde and a brunette nearly fell off a cliff and were hanging on for dear life. The brunette found the strength to climb back onto the ledge. The blonde was impressed and had muscular dystrophy so she lost the strength to hold on any longer and fell to her death.

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What would happen if RAINN Wilson, the actor, married Michael MANN, the director? They'd probably be arrested; 2 men can't get married in California anymore (thanks a lot, Utah)!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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