How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Q: Why does Bill Gates give so much money to charity? A: Because he wants to improve the lives of his fellow human beings, and also excessive wealth would be detrimental to his children.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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A man walks into a bar. As he walks in, numerous people turn their heads in awe. Is it... it can't be. It's Paul McCartney, the famous musician! "Oh - I'm not Paul McCartney". The man then said. "I just look a lot like him. Sorry." "Awww. That's a shame." said John Lennon, disappointed.

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Why did the baby fall down from the tree? It was dead.

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Why couldn't the blonde read the road map? Because she was blindfolded and tied up in the trunk.

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Why does Jeremy Kyle love his job? Because he gets to make idiots look like bigger idiots.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What would Jesus do? Do? You mean like do it? You have a dirty mind.

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Mam: Wanna hear a joke about my penis?... nevermind, it's to long. Woman: wanna hear a joke about my vagina?... nevermind, u wouldn't get it.

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Health food.

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If life gives you lemons, throw them at people.

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Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The third one is for you

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Whats worse than death? Living in Agonising pain for the rest of the life that happens to be reading this statement.

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7

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What did the bartender say to the black guy? hi there

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What do you get when you cross a penis with a dinosaur? A dicklodocus.

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holy F**k someone call an ambulance!

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Q: What did the man say when he tried to commit suicide by jumping off a 20 storie building? A: Ow!

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What did the man with no teeth say? I need some teeth.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know it depends on how hard you throw them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops