What does the orphan say to its parents? nothing, orphans dont have parents

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where did suzie go when the bomb hit her?? Everywhere

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? Steve Johnson, and I'm legally obligated to inform you that I'm a sex offender.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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Why didnt the boy eat his ice cream? Because he is dairy intolerant

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Why shouldn't you worry about having a baby? Because with all these jokes, babies aren't even going to be around anymore. "What's funnier than a dead baby?" "A dead baby in a clown costume"

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar and the bar says "ouch!"

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Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, But words can leave deep psychological wounds that may never heal.

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I may have alzheimers...Thank god I dont have alzheimers

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once upon a time y o u m a d BIBIBIDYYEAHBIIBAIDYEAH THAT'S ALL FOLKS

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When making an Anti-Joke, you click the button that says: 'I have read and agree to the terms of service' What are you called? A Liar.

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Q. What did Nelson say to his men before they boarded ship? A. "Board ship men"

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Q: why didn't the little black boy have a father? A: because he unfortunately died at the age of 48 with pancreatic cancer.

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Where did the taxi driver put his suitcase down? celery

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Whats the difference between Steven Hawkin and Gary Glitter? Ones severely disabled and ones a paedophile.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? A komodo dragon

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Me: You want pie? You: Yeah what flavour? Me: Pie flavour.

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Why did the cashier let the jockey off 10 cents? because he was short 10 cents

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What is yellow and can shot? A Banon.

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What's the difference between and black dick and a white dick? To get to the other side

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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Why didnt little timmy have a pencil? He was poor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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