What did the man get when he returned from Africa? AIDS

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A man keeping specific track of time,eagerly waits for a punch line.

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Sometimes I question my sanity... Occasionally it replies.

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Why can't Johnny run? He has no legs.

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A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

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What did the clitoris say to the labia? I'm from the hood, the clitoral hood.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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"Solids tunderf" he said, while chewing his gum.

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

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Why did the kid fall off his swing? Because his mum threw a fridge at him.

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What's the square root of 69 Jimmy? Square root of 69 is 8 something right? Cus I've been trying to work it out oh. Jimmy! It's 8.306623863 >.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone dropped a refrigerator on her. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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A duck quacks in a mountain range. No one on or nearby the mountains hears the duck because ducks' quacks don't echo.

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Why did the father not text back? He died in a car crash

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How much wood would Chuck Wood have if Chuck Wood could have wood? None, Chuck Wood has E.D.

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Two black guys jump off a bridge..who lands first? They would land at the same time due to earths gravity acting on them both with an equal force.

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Your mom is so fat, she got obese and died.

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Knock knock! who's there? Excuse me sir can I have a moment to talk to you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

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How old are you? 20

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When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic.

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What's black, blue and smells like fish? A dead penguin.

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Why was the blonde girl stupid? She had suffered sever brain damage the previous month and was still recovering.

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-Knock Knock ~Who's there? -It's your mother ~Go away

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops