When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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What's worse than loading babies into a garbage truck. Answore: unloading them with a pitch fork.

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Two giraffes walk into a bar, hit their heads, cracktheir skulls and die.

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What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

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What is long and hard that a bride gets on her wedding night? An erect penis.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody cause your a loser.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human language promptly shits on the floor then leaves.

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Why can't Amy Winehouse sing? She's dead.

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What did Obama say to Hilary? Will you be my secretary of state?

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what did the wall say to the floor? nothing interior structure supports do not talk

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Why couldn't the convicted felonist come back to America? He lost his passport.

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What would you call the Flinstones if they were black? Niggas

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate black people, and mexicans too.

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You tell your mom she's a bitch and she later commits suicide by shooting herself in the head . Now, what's the only thing ductape can't fix? Your moms skull.

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- Why Mexicans have small steering wheels in their cars? - Because of this they are able to drive a car in handcuffs.

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MAGHBERRY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because people have encroached on it's natural habitat.

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What's green, and looks like money? Money...

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Why doesn't it rain on Sundays? It does.

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A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Jimmy said he would never beat his wife, so why did he do it anyway? Because he was a hypocrite.

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Why did the cop pull over the car full of black people? Because, they were going 65 in a 35 mile per hour speed limit zone, Which is against the law.

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Are you Drew?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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