What did the fat lady order at McDonalds? Nothing because she forgot here wallet at home.

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What did Bear Grylls say to the dead whale? Mmmm.

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What do you call this? A sentence in English.

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An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

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Whats the difference between an american and a arab? Their Ethnicity.

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42

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A man walks into a bar and gets drunk. He then goes home and proceeds beating his many wives in a drunken fit of rage.

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Girl: That's pretty big. Boy: That's what she said. Woman: Yes, I enjoys large genitals.

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What did the skinny man say to the fat woman. That sucks.

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I went to the principle's office because I had a hard time reading They tried to tell me I was lesdistic

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Why couldn't the elephant ride the bike? Because it didn't have a thumb to ring the bell!

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Man in Balcony: You're telling it wrong!

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adele is so fat that when shes on a plane she makes the skyfall

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Why did the pineapple cry? It didn't, because it's a pineapple.

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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what's worse than fining out that the best and worst jokes on anti-joke.com are about the Holocaust The Holocaust

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Q: what's the difference between a young, geeky kid living in Wisconsin's basketball and Yao Ming's basketball? A: young, geeky kids cannot live in Wisconsin's basketball. Wisconsin is a state, and states cannot own objects because they aren't sentient beings. And Yao Ming's basketball... is just a regular basketball that happens to be owned by Yao Ming.

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knock knock? who's there? ted? ted who? stop f***ing around, you got cancer.

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Q What did the Whale say to the Giraffe? A Why are you in the ocean?

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David Silberberg is gay

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9/11

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how do you get blondes to drown? stick a mirror to the bottom of the pool

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What did the pencil say to the pen? Nothing.

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What did one volcano say to the other? Hey.... wana get some lunch... later, not now of course it's WAAAAY TOO EARLY!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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