Why did the monkey fall off the tree? It died.

Help I'm being raped!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers... how about you.

Have I ever told you that you looked beautiful? No. Ok, good.

why doesnt bally lifeguard he isnt qualified

What did the duck say to the flag? NOTHING DUCKS CANT SPEAK or flags

Why can't Helen Kellen drive? She's a woman.

What did the girl with two broken legs give her parents for Christmas? Medical bills.

What's better then petting a lion? Petting a lion and not getting eaten

What did Timmy say when the bus crashed? Nothing, it was a horrible crash, he died like everyone else. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Timmy.

Your so ugly that your birth certeficate is a apology letter from the condum factory

what's funnier then 33? actually there's a plenty of things, just have to think about it

Hey I just met you you are a sneaker smell my gym socks and then pick oot throughyour nose

Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

what happens when u mix a car, a blimp and a plane? I don't know.

What do you call a ostrich with no legs? Damn, that's funny.

Two men walk into a bar.........ouch.

Rebecca Black walks into a bar she took the back seat

Why did the man commit suicide? Because he felt he had nothing left to live for

What do you call a black mailman? By his name.

Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? He was found guilty of two acts of murder in the first degree.

What ended my last relationship? Oncoming traffic.

Papa Smurf: Why did the chicken cross the road? Grouchy Smurf: I hate chickens!

what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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