Yo momma is so fat, when she wears a bathing suit, people are like, wow, that woman is fat.

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Hello.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? with boomerangs

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There once were 2 cowboys who were lost on a dusty trail. Later on they found their way out and are now doing very successful

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck on the way.

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A young child drops his ice cream and began to cry. Why are you crying asks his mother Because I dropped my ice cream said the child

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? No. You don't need to, it's quite inappropriate.

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life is a barrel of tomatoes...unless you paint them blue.

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Why couldn't the kid eat candy? He had diabetes, so he could put himself in danger and possibly result in death which would leave the family torn apart and all committing suicide in a matter of 10 years.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. and Asians are yellow.

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? 1

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How much money did the pirate pay for his ear to get pierced? Nothing, given that he is a pirate. It was probably done at gunpoint.

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What's worse than a Holocaust in your apple? What.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? there are no roads in factory farms.

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why did jimmy win the lottery? WAFFLE

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What happens to a black man when he jumps into a pool of clorox? He turns white!

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One day a child goes to the doctor and says, "it hurts when do this" as he pokes his throat. The doctor, after several well-performed deep tissue testing, diagnosed the child with stage four esophageal cancer. The child cried himself to sleep that night.

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What do Native Indians and Asian Indians have in common? They're both human.

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How do you make a blond shut up? Staple her tongue to the roof of her mouth and super-glue her lips together.

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A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

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A middle-aged white woman is walking toward a building, talking on her cellphone to a friend. She says, "Yes, I can meet you for lunch in a few hours. I have to go to the unemployment office to sign up for benefits. It's going to be horrible. It'll probably be full of black people." Standing in line, she is incredibly uncomfortable and horrified, because there is a black man right behind her, and she is stuck standing next to him for a long time. Finally it's her turn, and she steps up to the counter. The clerk asks her, "And what did you do for a living?" She answers, "I mopped the floors and cleaned the bathroom in a Blockbuster store that closed down." The clerk says, "Fill out this paperwork and take it to window #2." As she turns around, she is once more repulsed by the black man who is standing right there. Now that it's his turn, he steps to the counter, and the clerk asks him, "And what did you do for a living?" He answers, "I was the senior vice president of global strategic development for Eastman Kodak."

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Q: Why did the koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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