What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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knock knock There's no door

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How did OJ get away with murder? No one really knows. Probably because he an excellent group of lawyers

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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What do an elephant and a grape have in common? They're both purple... except for the elephant.

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Jimmy and Ted are racing each other at the end ov the street. Jimmy is taller and thinner but Ted has more endurance. Who wins the race? A: the drunk driver

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"My c.ock is bigger!" "No! My c.ock is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger dick.

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a pornstar comes early to a party

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Near the tower of London, a woman says to her friend: "You know, I had a feeling my son would come out, and the other day, he did." "What was your first clue?" "We're British."

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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What did one Lacrosse player say to the other? Let's touch shafts

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They see me rollin' Up my sleeve for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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what did the black man say to the white girl? He respectfully asked her out on a date and theyve been happily dateing ever since.

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What did the blind kid say to his dad Nothing , his dads dead

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Roses are red violets are blue I have boobs and so do you

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A fat guy. - Louis

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What do u firmly grasp and stroke until u can't go any longer? A shakeweight....

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No-one because that's not feasible.

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How many people of a certain demographic does it take to change a light bulb? x+1 (x >0), 1 person to change the lightbulb and x to behave in a manner consistent with the established stereotype of said demographic.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Apple. Apple who? Apple juice.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it's goal was to get to the other side however unfortunately a giant gorilla picked up a car; threw it at a nearby building causing it to collapse; setting off a massive explosion causing all of the buildings on that side of the street to collapse. As the whole other side of the street was covered in rubble making it impossible for the chicken to get to the other side, so the chicken decided to turn around and go home.

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The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

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What would Walt Disney be if he were still alive today? Still anti-semetic

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Why did the guy get hit by a bus? He walked out into traffic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops