Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your mum. Your mum who? Dinner is ready, come down stairs.

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What do you get when you cross sodium citrate, citric acid, benzyl alcohol, monoethanolamine, sodium benzoate, gylcol disterate, FD&C Yellow #5, ammonium lauryl sulfate, methylisothiazolinone, fragrances/perfumes, FD&C Blue #1, sodium chloride, zinc pyrithione, methylchloroisothiazolinone, ammonium xylenesulfonate, ammonium laureth sulfate, cetyl alcohol, cocamide, guar hydropropyltrimonium chloride, 1-Decene, homopolymer, hydrogenated, trimethylolpropane tricaprylate and water? Head & Shoulders Dandruff Shampoo for Fine-Oily Hair

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whats in common with a rat and an apple? neither of them are a fridge

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Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

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How many people of a certain demographic does it take to change a light bulb? x+1 (x >0), 1 person to change the lightbulb and x to behave in a manner consistent with the established stereotype of said demographic.

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STFU Stop Tickling Fuzzy Unicorns they really don't like it

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A man once had a monkey, and it made him very happy. then one day, his monkey ran away. So the man was very sad and screamed, "I knew i should have broken the monkey's legs!!"

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roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this makes no sense microwave.

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Theres an irishman , scottish man and a welsh man on a plane they where going to france

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Why cant Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukaemia.

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

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Why did the little boy drop his lollipop? He got hit by a car.

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Know what would be awkward, if a GPS told a gay guy to get straight.

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How did the black kid apply for college? The Common App. Duhh

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What's sad about an elderly couple who has had a long, fruitful marriage? Nothing.

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what did tyrone want for Christmas? A dad.

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Last guy is a Joke thief Love, T.R.

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You're mother has had a heart attack in the middle of the street, you start to sing amazing grace hoping people will join in, but unfortunatly this is not a musical and you should call 911.

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How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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my mind's eye?

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Knock Knock? whos there? The man at the door then finds himself thinking what his last name is as he lately got amnesia

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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