A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

My son won the lottery. I shot him so I could have the money.

Why didnt your daughter come home? The door was locked

Q. Why did the kid drop his tennis racket? A. Because he got run over by a tank!

what do obama and terrorist have in common -they are both human

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

...............................................................hi

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

Why wasn't the Asian at work? Because the sweat shop was closed on Sundays...

Did you hear about the guys who wanted to go to Hawaii??? They didn't go!

my gave me a game i said thank you

knock knock a man walks into a bar what do you call a horse with no legs dave who?

Knock knock Who's there? Your neighbor. I just ran over your cat.

poop nuff said

Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

People say the sky's the limit................................ but there's footprints on the moon.

Why did the chicken cross the road? An even better question is why are the chicken morals being questioned every time it feels like doing something.

Guy at computer: My computer won't turn on. Help desk Guy: Did you try restarting. Guy at computer: No. The help desk guy hangs up and the guy at the computer proceeds to cry because he has failed.

Roses are red Violets are astronaut This joke didn't make sense I'll kill u with a rake

What do you do if you have a worm in your apple you throw it away

EAT YOUR DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A man is at a party. He gets hungry so he waits in the foodline and then he gets some food. Then he has to go to the bathroom so he waits in the bathroomline and goes to the bathroom. Then he is thirsty so he goes to get some punch and realizes that there is no punchline.

What's big and messy? A big mess

10 mexicans were driving in a car and went off a cliff. what happend? No one cares.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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