I'm on the ABC diet. The ABC stands for: Americans British Chinese I eat humans.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? They practice.

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A elementary school child was waiting at the bus stop for the bus to come. All of the sudden, the bus comes around the corner, pulls up, stops and he gets in.

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A man hits a woman while driving. Whose fault is it? The mas. He was out drinking that night and shouldn't have gotten in his car in the first place.

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Never bring a knife to a sword fight Bring A GIANT FREAKING HIPPOPOTAMUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A Muslim walks into a bar. BOOM

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How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

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Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

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Old guitars sound like cat's guts

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who's that hot blonde at the disco? your mother.

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Why did the man reach for his gun? Because he wanted to kill someone.

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I have a red ferrari and 20 dead babies in my garage. Didn't I have a blue ferrari?

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An Atheist and a Christian are walking along a sidewalk going in opposite directions when suddenly the Atheist sneezes. The Christian says "God Bless You!" Even though the Atheist doesn't believe in God he understand that the gesture was a kind one and so he nods and politely says "Thank you!" before going on about his day.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Generator? One powers your house...and then there's the generator.

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Whats small, red and white, and would kill you if shot out of a cannon? A decapitated baby

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How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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what is a bike without wheels? not a bike.

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What happened to the jew that donated? Stop thinking, jews dont donate.

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My nigga so racist he killed a man cause he was white.

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Police Officer: Please step out of the car, sir Jimmy: Xbox...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead...

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what is Justin Bieber+ One Less Lonely girl.... A BABY

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream ? He got hit by a bus !

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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