How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You shove her off the bed

thumb_up thumb_down +25

have you seen ray charles' house? neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

how do you make old people hate eachother? put them in a night time psychology class

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What was little Timmy's final words? I just want to go home.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats Black and White and Red all over ? A Zebra laying in a pool of its own blood.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I forgot how to throw a boomerang and then it came back to me.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a 400 pound man eating chocolate? diabetic

thumb_up thumb_down +23

So there's this crazy married couple in a old trailer down the road. They are both drunk. The man asks his blond wife, ''Isn't it about time we get married?'' The wife replies ''I wouldn't marry a ugly thing like you!'' The next day, they file a divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock ************************** No-one's home

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red Violets are violet Don't know why people are saying they're blue

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

whats hard, its not what you think a penis

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!! Everybody A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why do vampire's from 'Twilight' sparkle? Because it's a really bad movie.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

This is an anti joke with a difference. It's funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was 6 afraid of seven? because 7 brutally beat and raped 9

thumb_up thumb_down +21

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q:Why didnt the stoner go to college? A:Because he died of lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats worse than purple nurples? Having the period

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you tell if a girl is pregant? Stick a banana up her vagina pull it out and see if it has a bite on it

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops