A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!! Everybody A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!!

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Why do vampire's from 'Twilight' sparkle? Because it's a really bad movie.

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Q:Why didnt the stoner go to college? A:Because he died of lung cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there was a red light and it was his turn to cross.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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This is an anti joke with a difference. It's funny.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? because 7 brutally beat and raped 9

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Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

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Whats worse than purple nurples? Having the period

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How do you tell if a girl is pregant? Stick a banana up her vagina pull it out and see if it has a bite on it

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Whats the difference between a sack of babies and a sandwich? A Sand which floats when you put it into a large body of water.

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Brad Fuller!

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what do you call the man making meth in his basement? the police to stop inappropriate behavior from reaching the children of society.

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420

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Q: Why did the Unicorn cross the road? A: It didn't Unicorns are fictional creatures.

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1: What do you call your car door when it's opened slightly? 2: I don't know. What? 1: Ajar! 2: A jar? 1: No. Ajar. 2: But it's a door. 1: Just forget it.

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A blind 1st grader is doing math. He can't figure out a problem so he asks his mom to help, his mom then ask "Why don't you just count by your fingers?" the little boy then said "MOM! I'm blind I can't see!" his mom replys "then how do you see your homework?" the boys replys "I opened my eyes, now help me"

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How many morman minutes does it take to get to school? A lightyear

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Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? He was found guilty of two acts of murder in the first degree.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

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What did the walrus say to the Penguin. It said MAHHRGH. because walruses can't really talk

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How many babies can you fit in a toilet? To be exact you would have to do all this math, so I tested it out myself and got 7.6.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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