HOLY SHIT, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is notified, and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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Why wasn't the girl raped? Cause she wasn't attractive.

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Why did the Jew rob the bank? -He was a criminal.

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Take sebastian deep into the woods and put him down quickly

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One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

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two tomatos walked over the road and..... just kidding tomatos can't walk.

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What did the blind, deaf, and dumb child get for Christmas? Cancer.

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68

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

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Three guys at the beach decided to bet on who could swim the farthest. The first guy, could not swim so he lost. The second guy got a cramp right away. The third one swam far away into the distance, and was not seen or heard on for days... Three weeks later his corpse was found floating by the shore. The other two died out of guilt.

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Sticks and stones can break my bones Well maybe you shouldn't play in the tree anymore

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Why didn't the boy eat his food? because he wasn't hungry.

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- What do you call a black man who drives a bus? - An african american bus driver.

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Q. How many jews can you fit in a car? A. depending on the car size and make, oh and the size of the ash tray is also important

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How did the young child react when a bullet went through his head? He fell to the ground and his heart stopped beating.

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Whats long and black? The unemployment line

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What did Steven Hawking get for Christmas? ------ ------ ------ A bike.

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Why cant a black man and a white man cant be friends? Because bont mens are racist

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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What did the snowman put on his head? Nothing; snowmen are inanimate.

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Brian finally kissed a girl on the lips... After her daily whore shift of blowjobs -Ap

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What starts with a P and ends with O-R-N? porn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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