What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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all your base are belong to mark

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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This is one LONG empty space isn't it?

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what do you say to a girl dog crying??? shut up bitch...

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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What's worse than getting a divorce? Nuclear warfare

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a slice of tomato A really bad joke

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What do you call a pile of dead children? Home

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A priest, a rabbi and a proctologist walk into a bar. Why is there a bar lying in the middle of the sidewalk?

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Jaden McMichael

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how do we call a person with no body nor nose? a dead guy

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What do you do to become a hairdresser? Set Off the fire alarm

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What does a black person call black friday? Friday

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A watermelon doesn't scream when you cut it open.

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what's mouthwatering and smells like fish? salmon

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why did the boy trip off a cliff? because he was clumsy.

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Do you know what's hilarious? Not rape.

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The Christian Bible.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well, there is no way to accurately estimate this number being that 1.woodchucks in fact do not chuck wood and 2. there is no time frame given for said action to take place

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Why didn't the baby come to daycare? Because his mother got killed by spongebob

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what happen to covietz when he licked his balls? nothing he likes the taste

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? A dead bird

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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