I'm winning at Scrabble.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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Why did the father beat his daughter? To alleviate stress.

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Guess what what?? chicken butt!!!!!

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am disabled, so please help me poo.

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Say this to someone: On a scale from one to ten, what is your favorite color?

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What's big and hairy my penis just kidding It's Bigfoot

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What do you call a partially deaf obese man? Anything you want, it's unlikely that he'll hear you. If he does manage to catch what you said, your chances of outrunning him are very good considering that he's likely to tire before you, unless you're overweight yourself of course. If this is the case then perhaps you should hit the gym, obesity is a growing problem in the Western world and greatly increases your chance of heart disease and/or diabetes.

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Scenario: A man is being mugged in an alley Mugger: Give me your wallet! I have a gun! Victim: You don't have the balls. Mugger: Oh yeah! I have 3 balls! Victim: Well I have 2, you should probably get that checked.

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There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

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Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great height she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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What did the chicken say when it crossed the road? Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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Why did the black man buy watermellon? Because he was having a barbecue in his suburban neighborhood and he wanted some fruit.

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two men are sitting in a desk next to each other learning math when the equation 22+1 came up. the frist man says to the second, "24" and they both giggled. the second guy then slips his lips over the the first guy and whispers, "hey, i just thought of something funnier than 24" to which the first replies with a slight of laughter, "lemme hear it." so the second says with laughter "25".

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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what has 2 legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter ponder with cheese.

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Once you buy it, you will get a 365 day warranty or a 1 year warranty, whichever comes first

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CAVE JOHNSON.

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Whats wrong with that Nothing

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how did the cat call 9-1-1? very carefully as cats do not have opposable thumbs, making the whole situation rare, and semi-improbable.

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why do people play xbox 360's? because there poor people who cant afford a ps3

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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