Verbal assault; because battering someone to death with a dictionary has never been so much fun. [L]

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My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

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hi bye

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you know what ice cream's made out of, right? milk.

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I see said the blind man to his deaf wife as his crippled son pushed him in his wheelchair.

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What do you call a dead, black child? Dead.

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69

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? A pair of broken sunglasses, because his parents didn't care about him, and because he lived in Hawaii where it is very hot in December. Plus the kid's blind. By Nikhil Sridhar of Taikoo Shing, Hong Kong.

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What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

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An Irishman and an Englishman are in a bar. Suddenly a wild Dragonite attacks. The Englishman promptly catches the pokemon and continues to enjoy his drink with his Irish friend.

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Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Jehovah's Witness." "Jehovah's witness, who?" "Just Jehovah's Witness. Your doorbell is not working."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, a bus hit it half way along and it died instantly.

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Why did the black man buy watermellon? Because he was having a barbecue in his suburban neighborhood and he wanted some fruit.

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What happened to the Mexican who commited suicide? He died.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to commit suicide.

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How many pairings of animals did Moses collect before the rain started? 1. 500 2. 50000 3. 500000000 4. Nobody really knows 5. It was Noah... Moral: Lol.

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What is the difference between a baby and a log? I don't have a log in my fireplace

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run farther?

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Why did the chicken cross the street? I would rather live in a world a chicken's motives would not be questioned.

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What do you say when the cheese isn't yours? The cheese does not belong to me.

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what do you call a joke that is not a joke? not a joke

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What do you get when you cross a spoon and a fork? A spoon crossed with a fork.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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