What's the square root of 69 Jimmy? Square root of 69 is 8 something right? Cus I've been trying to work it out oh. Jimmy! It's 8.306623863 >.

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When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic.

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This Anti-Joke Is Loading Plese Wait . . .

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How old are you? 20

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Why do penguins wash their clothes in tide? They don't. As artic-dwelling birds, they don't have access TV or magazines and as such, are impervious to influences via commercials and written advertisements. Also, obvious tuxedo jokes aside, they don't really wear clothes.

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ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, WITHOUT MY HEART I CANNOT LOVE YOU

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where did suzie go when the bomb hit her?? Everywhere

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Your momma's so fat she has diabetes.

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How come the man couldnt read the directions? He was reading it upside down.

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Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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What does the orphan say to its parents? nothing, orphans dont have parents

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What's sad about 4 people in a Lamborgini going over a cliff? It was my car.

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What did one Stoner say to the other? "I'm hungry, let's order pizza."

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What is the least racist animal? A panda. It's black, white and Asian.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

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What's dry and unpleasant to eat? Sand.

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If you go to an animal shelter to get a pet god, you may be dyslexic.

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A Haitian walks into a bar. It collapses.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar and the bar says "ouch!"

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There was a man sinking in quick sand. He looked in the sky and said, "God, if you spare my life, I'll be a great person and believe in you all my life." He died.

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Why didnt the boy eat his ice cream? Because he is dairy intolerant

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? Steve Johnson, and I'm legally obligated to inform you that I'm a sex offender.

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Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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