I forgot how to throw a boomerang and then it came back to me.

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? Well, he's dead.

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What did the firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire? -Let's go home

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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a man walks in to a bar he says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey laugh" so he goes in there and makes it laugh and gets a free beer ant then the next day he goes in and says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey cry" so he goes in there and makes the horse cry and the bartender says " i will give you a free beer but first tell me what you did to make my donkey laugh and cry" the man says " first to make the donkey laugh i told the donkey i had a bigger penis than him then to make him cry i showed him

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What do u call a black astronaut? An astronaut, you racist prick

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Why did the Jew run across the road? To get to the other side.

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A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

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anti jokes are for fags

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I had sex with your mom. It was f*cking terrible.

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I'm a white rapper I do it all the time Folks don't like me cuz my words don't match

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Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

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You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind.

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NEVER

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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If you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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rishi is gay (coventry england)

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What was Tyler's last name? Grzesik.

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Knock Knock Go Away

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You know what's bad? Running over a baby with a truck. You know what's worse? Skidding on it.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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You ask a German how long it takes to go from Berlin to Amsterdam. He replies, ''About four hours by tank."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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