Roses are red Violets are blue get down or i will shoot

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Q: What's the difference between lucky charms and a baby? A: One is magically delicious and the other is a breakfast serial.

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You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

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Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

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Why couldn't the kid eat candy? He had diabetes, so he could put himself in danger and possibly result in death which would leave the family torn apart and all committing suicide in a matter of 10 years.

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What was Billy for Halloween? A pirate

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Whats better then having 10 fingers Having 11

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If you have a large penis.give this joke a thumbs up. ( :

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Why couldn't the girl swing on the swing set? She had no arms.

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Stephen Hawkings viewed porn as a child

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Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

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What's worse than a Holocaust in your apple? What.

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Girl : What's a anti joke ? Boy : it's you .

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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what has four wheels and opens using a key? -a trunk on wheels

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At the time my grandfather came round to visit, what was happening in Australia? A giant spider was giving birth.

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A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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What did the man who brutally raped and murdered his infant daughter say? He didn't.

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If the opposite of Pro is Con, whats the opposite of progress?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a dead moose, In my basement.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? A brick Courtesy of: http://samsjokeoftheweek.moonfruit.com/

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Lettuce. THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! AAAAHHHH!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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