Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. It was hanging on a clothes line he didn't see.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

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Statistically 9/11 Americans wont get this joke. But 7/7 British will.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a porsche? i don't have i dead baby in my garage. That would be wrong

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like to slap hookers

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. It was a footless chicken.

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What's funnier than throwing a baby off a bridge? Everything, if you think that's funny, you're a terrible person.

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UNICORNZ R PURPUL

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Wanna know what makes me smilee? Facial Muscles

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Knock Knock! Who's there? ... THE DOOR!!

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A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." and then the mushroom walks out.

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A Man Walks Into A Bar. He's Immediately Rushed To The Hospital.

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A man goes to a doctor and says , "My arm hurts in 3 places." the doctor says, "Dont go to those places.

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Knock knock We aren't home Sorry.

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You want to hear a joke. Sure. A black president. Oh wait...

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What's blue, and smells like fish? A firetruck, I was kidding about the blue and fish.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was playing Pokemon Go.

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Why did the beaver cross the road? To meet Justin Bieber!

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Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

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What's funnier than seeing a baby falling from the empire state building? Stopping his speed with a shovel

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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What did the President give his wife for her birthday? Women's Rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops