This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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What did the President give his wife for her birthday? Women's Rights.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems Nice tits

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You want to hear a joke. Sure. A black president. Oh wait...

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What's blue, and smells like fish? A firetruck, I was kidding about the blue and fish.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was playing Pokemon Go.

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Knock knock We aren't home Sorry.

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A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." and then the mushroom walks out.

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A Man Walks Into A Bar. He's Immediately Rushed To The Hospital.

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A man goes to a doctor and says , "My arm hurts in 3 places." the doctor says, "Dont go to those places.

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What did the ant do? I don't care you whore

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven liked to eat numbers lower than itself.

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why did michele jackson rape a kid. because he was horny duhhhh!

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A pirate walks out of a bar. He drowns in a puddle.

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You know what is worse than being dead...being at a Justin Bieber concert

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Q. Why did the fat boy cross the road? A. To go on a diet

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why didnt Joe drive the tractor today? Because Joe doesnt have any arms or legs. Why doesnt Joe have any arms or legs? A) Because Joe is a potatoe

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DARK FACT: A ratchet black chick would say that was racist.

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Wanna hear a joke..... Corey Jacobs Penis!

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9/11

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A: If you were stranded on an island and you could only have one thin, what would it be? B: A boat A: That makes sense

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A chicken crosses the road as a car comes by. The driver pumps the brakes and stops the car just before hitting the chicken. The chicken crosses the road safely. Onward, my noble steed !

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What do you call a dozen Muslims waiting to board a train? Passengers...you racist.

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Chuck Norris does not get sick; He only gets sick when his immune system is weak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops