matt has ebola...funny right!?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's something that really sucks? Having a homicidal cat on your chest.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Lillie: tell me three adjectives that would describe yourself. Ellie: pretty, smart, and funny. Lillie: if I were to analyze you...I would say you are pretty, smart, and funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did mary fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? Cause she had no friends. Knock knock whos there Definately not mary !

thumb_up thumb_down -10

a dinosaur with a large clown hat is walking down the street when he is confronted by an obese monkey human with red hair. I set this up for a good pun, but the one i have is potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is the most dangerous day of the week to leave the house? Garbage day. Moral: Or rather GAAAAAAAAAARBAAAAAGE DAAAAAAAAAAAAY! *BANG BANG BANG* >:D

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the boy fail his test? Because he got shot before he could even study.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Neo Nero, why did you not tell me that Nero7 is dead? When was the funeral held? Where is he buried? At point Zero? Please I need to know, he was basically my father, or rather all that my father never was, at least I dont have to wonder if he will ever come back... I understand your anger, even if I am not even close to following your extreme ideals, please tell me the code, the proof that you are not one of the Spetznas or the Nazi`s. "Eliza"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's sicker than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill death ratio

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Bill:What do you get when you cross a panda and an eagle? Joe:I don't know what? Bill: Is that even possible?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q. How many Jews can you fit in a blender ? A. 37 but you can try and prove me wrong

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happened when Sally got hit by a truck? WHO CARES CALL 911!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I see said the blind man to his deaf wife as his crippled son pushed him in his wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How dead people are in a graveyard? All of them

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How did little Timmy die? He was ripped to shreds by a violent badger.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Making jokes about 9/11 is just plane wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

if life thows you lemons ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops