How you your turn a trashcan into a semi-automatic AK-47? You don't. But ask the irishman who just said "hello" to you.

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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bergin y u so tubbbbbyyyy?????

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What did the Carbon atom say to the Oxygen atom? Nothing, basic elements are incapable of speech. It requires a culmination of many atoms to form a living human capable of speaking to another human.

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Three women are sent to heaven. Theres a blond , brunette , and a redhead. There are 100 steps to heaven and on every step god tells you a joke and you cant laugh. The redhead makes it to step 23 then laughs. The brunette makes it to step 67 then laughs. Finally the blond make it all the way to the 100th step and before god can tell the joke she laughs. God asks why are u laughing? And the blond says " i just got the 1st one"!

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Cinema summer shits coming this year! Reboot edition ONE! Rocky BarBoler a older man with dreams of becoming a true boxing champion!... but will he succeed against the champion Apollo thirteen? Watch ROCKY To find out. Starring Mike Tyson as Rocky, and Justin Bieber as Apollo thirteen (Do I need remind you Rocky lost in his first movie?, Well that one is for you "Beleibers" because in the end you are misguided cuties.. most way to young for me, but you are as cute as you are silly). Moral: Loves cute girls... especially those over 16... legal age here... good luck calling us all pedophiles... They mature fast here, "beliebe" me, twelve year olds have fully grown boobs... what did you think I meant by cute? RAWR! Look but no touch is a okay for me mama Luigi. I just tend to call me once they turn 16...

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Q. What did the atheist ask the pregnant woman? A. You gonna eat that?

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Turnabout: American study of the Japanese Stereotype man: Murican: Excuse me Mr Japanese. Jap: The answer is within the heart of battle.. Murican: Yes but I just want to ask you some few questions. Jap: You are disturbing my feng shui I must power of the mystical fireball of surge fist energy get... *uppercuts waterfall BECAUSE REASONS!* Murican: What? But this is a serious study! Jap: Sowwy I do nothe speeky the shamefull language of the engrish! Murican: But you just said... Sigh... Conclusion: Carpet bombing of Japan funding increased. "slap a Jap" commercial project from world war two reinstated for the safety of the American people. Experiment two: The study of a American man raised in Japan. Murican: Hello I wonder if... American raised in japan: GADOUKEN GADOUKEN GADOUKEN! ORA ORA! Murican: Dead/KO. American/Japan: FRAWRESS VICTOLY! Result: World war 3 GET!

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cancer

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Why couldn't the black guy enter the room? He was too large to fit through the doorway therefore he turned around and left

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Joke: What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho Cheese! Anti Joke: What do you call cheese that's not yours? Sally's Cheese

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How did my grand parents go about surviving the holocaust? Well, for starters, they weren't Jewish, they never lived in Germany, and to be honest, my grandparents probably would have supported the Nazi's because they are right wing pricks

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I personally really do not know

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A African americia and a Hispanic are in a car, who's driving? The police man

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Where can you find elephants? That depends on where you leave them.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Not again!"

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Why was Sally rolling in the grass? She was on fire.

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Why did the retirement home go out of business. There was a fire and all of the residents charred to death accept for a couple who escaped but were too traumatized to return to the old folks home.

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What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

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Why did the condom drive over his pet mac and cheese? Because his uncle was not george bush.

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Q. I'm not hot, I'm not cold I'm not young, I'm not old I'm not lame, I'm not cool I'm not smart, and I'm not a fool. What am I? A. Text

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Jonny played in the mud. Want to hear a clean joke? Jonny took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke again? Bubbles was the girl next door, Jonny raped her.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a homicidal maniac, six has every right to be afraid

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red. OH SHIT THE GARDENS ON FIRE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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