a dinosaur with a large clown hat is walking down the street when he is confronted by an obese monkey human with red hair. I set this up for a good pun, but the one i have is potatoes.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Then that means that, I thought I was working with you? No wonder things did not work out, no wonder jerks like Jonas "the wizard" got inside my team, he was recommended by this "Axel Knight"

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What's something that really sucks? Having a homicidal cat on your chest.

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Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'll choke you with a hose

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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How did Chinese people get their names? They throw their pots and pans down the stairs. It says, "CHING CHANG CHONG!!!"

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Q: What do you call a black guy with his degree in dentistry? A: Doctor

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 is bigger.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know it depends on how hard you throw them.

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What did the apple say to the pear? Fred, you are going insane and i'm getting a divorce.

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Why did the man Iorn his face? Because he felt like it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea, and neither does the chicken, for chickens do not possess the ability to reason.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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What is worse than breaking your pencil? Flying on a magic carpet

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Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock. Knock. Whos there? Not Sarah.

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Q: Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? A: A couple of pigs with questionable carpenter's skills, and maybe Red Riding Hood. Grandma wasn't so lucky.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Hearing the same holocaust joke seventeen times.

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columbus laid an egg. he was very proud of it, but the other dudes ate it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops