Whats fast, dead and make of CGI. Paul Walker

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a donkey

What did the Africans get for dinner? Nothing.

whats the difference between a fur rug and a pile of dead babies? i dont lie on a fur rug to pleasure myself

A boy says he is going to commit suicide. To stop him, a friend tells him not to do it, he'll regret it later in life.

What's worse than the Holocost? Two worms in your apple.

So three nazis walk into a B.A.R

Two Jews, three Nazis, and a black guy go into a bar. Where they have a spirited debate about Canadian football. And leave without coming to any conclusions.

Knock Knock Who's There? Dave I don't know a Dave, Please leave.

What did the mom say to her clinically depressed son? You're dad died

Why does blond women give great blowjob? Because they has vaacum in thier heads! Blond woman coment; well thats better than having nothing at all in your head! :-)

How do you kill a jew? In a variety of destructive manners that are illegal and I would hope you would decide against.

Q: How did Mary get frostbite A: Her mother locked her in a freezer

What did the guy who dropped his iPhone do? He went out and bought a knew one.

If you were a booger..................... I would get a tissue so i could blow my nose.

what do u call something black and hanging from a tree.............................. a black guy

Knock Knock? Who's there? (No answer)

i dont like chris

Your Grandma and your mom drove off a cliff, who survived? Both of them, they didn't drive off a cliff.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

Why did Jimmy cross the road? Because a chicken was about to cross the road, and he wanted to be kind and help the old 72-aged chicken get across the road. Because Jimmy had a grandfather that passed away because he was too old and nobody helped him cross the road. Jimmy is haunted by that memory and doesn't want that to happen to anyone else. Especially a chicken.... Also there were no cars and his best friend chicken was on the other side waiting for him.

So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

About the bible, I did not know, but I can sense I calculate it the same way I make our followers believe that I can tell what catchphra they will get. Your mind is numb but calm, it will remain there until we meet again. I am afraid of saying this, but I wont let fear get to me just yet, your mother told me, she regrets her actions in life, and wants me to tell you that she is watching over you in death, and hopes you will one day forgive her, she tells me that there is a heaven, but only those that can admit their mistakes, agonize over the pain of their actions, until they can forgive themselves for their misdeeds. She says she can wait, but I sense she is doing it because she feels undeserving, which again means that you are not ready, its like the butterfly effect, all things spiritual and on this plane are connected. Take your time, I know you literally cant forgive her yet, because that would not be enough for her to forgive herself now, humans dead or alive, cannot be truly free, until they let go of what hurts them, I will change that within you, so you can forgive her and break the limits in your mind, so you can stop feeling sad for being rightfully angry at someone you love. I just need more energy, more time, and belief in myself, something that requires more energy than it should to keep going, its the balance and connection between things, something I cannot change at the present moment, even if I did my best. Ill see you around dear friend.

how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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