Doctor: I got bad news and worse news Patient: Whats the bad news? Doctor: You have 24 hours to live Patient: Whats the worse news? Doctor: Your mom died this morning

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What happens when you leave Toby alone in your house? He eats your carpet, some pillows, ur dog, ned, neds dog and a glass panel. This is why 2 +h = plugger +Mount Everest (I is potato annoying). Bonjour.

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What did the man say to the teacup? Nothing. He was drunk and on the floor.

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what do mexicans like most. icecubes

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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What's hotter than a hot girl? The sun.

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What is similar between women and puzzles? Neither had the right to vote before 1920. Puzzles still don't

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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wanna no wats not funny........ aids

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What would make a black guy sad? His mom dying on death bed...

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

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Q.If your have $6.00 and I have a hair cut, how many donkeys are in the paddock? A. Aliens with a hat????????????

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What did the man with Alzheimer's get for Christmas? Happy New Year!

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i love weed i fuc king really do i fuc king love smoking weed with you.And i love a fat spliff and i love a fat bong why cant we all just sing along!!!

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whats orange, green and has a treadmill attached to it? a cantaloupe, i lied about the treadmill.

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There are 100 men enjoying a cruise to celebrate an important contract going through at their place of employment. The boat then suffers a major malfunction and tragically sinks to the bottom of the ocean, miles from any land masses. Not a single man died, how is this possible? They all used the lifeboats supplied on the boat and followed the standard procedure to deal with such a crisis.

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whats cold and in a box...have a guess

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GONNA

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A vegetarian walked into a butcher Luckily he realized where he was and walked out!

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Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Gestapo. Gestapo who? Your husband is dead.

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I used to work at a chemical plant manufacturing hydrochloric acid. I couldn't handle it. One day a container exploded and I got severe chemical burns on my face. The scarring is awful. It has ruined my life.

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What can move people but not rocks.. Poop

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An Englishman, Irishman, and Jew walk into a bar. Steven Spielberg is a Jew.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops