- Anti Joke

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven. Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" "No," the man replies, "I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Pizza's don't scream when there in then oven.

what is red and lies in all four corners of the room? a baby that was playing with a chainsaw.

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

Q:If Ryan Vallee walks into a room what do you do? A:Walk out -Ryan V

A woman catches her husband cheating on her she divorces him in a rather lengthy sequence of meetings in court

whats green at the bottom of a hole and covered in cookie crumbs a girl scout run over by a truck

Why did little Johnny fall off his swing? He had no arms.

What did the man say to the woman? get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.

Nuclear Bombs are bad. But erections are good.......as long as they are stroked

Why did little Betsy have a stomach ache? Her alcoholic mother pinned her down in a drunken rage and made her drink bleach.

What do people say when a dyslesic person scores a goal in soccer good job that was a nice goal

What did Steve jobs tell bill gates? Please pass the salt.

Once you buy it, you will get a 365 day warranty or a 1 year warranty, whichever comes first

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

10inch nice

Q: What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A: A park bench can support a family of four.

Whats up with your nan? Copious amounts of lsd

Tip for Employers: Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the resumes into the bin.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

What do you call a black kid on a bike? Dirt bike

What Do You Call a Black Man With a Gun?? A Cop

yo mamas so fat whenever she wears a pink bathing suit people say "look at that fat lady wearing a pink bathing suit!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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