How do you get 100 people in one car. You can't.

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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Instead of throwing out his garbage, a young boy decided to play a prank on some passersby and left a banana peel on the sidewalk. moments later an elderly woman walked past and slipped on the banana, falling backwards and smashing her head. The young man watched from the bushes as paramedics shook their heads and placed a now lifeless body in a body bag and took it away. The young boy, startled and shocked at what he just saw, tried to run away, but slipped on his own banana peel, falling backwards onto the pavement. The young boy was lucky and survived, but later had to go to therapy for many years to come, the thought of his prank gone wrong torturing him until he took his own life. What is the moral of the story? Do not litter, ALWAYS throw out your garbage.

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I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

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Q: whats pink and fluffy? A: Pink fluff.

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whats a willy? -brock

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whats the difference between a mexican and a fish? one is a human being while the other is a fish, what did you expect?

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street he gets hit by an airplane

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These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

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How do you kill a blond? Put a scratch and sniff card at the bottom of a pool.

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The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of it's feet are both yellow.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I know.

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why did a girl walk down the alley? because her name was alley!

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Carrot fingers

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Nice belt.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your Holocaust? Oh, wait, I said it wrong...

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There's my tractor.

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"who you calling pinhead" tell me you know what thats off

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Why aren't 4 black people driving a red mustang? They can't afford it.

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What did Steve jobs tell bill gates? Please pass the salt.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - Could you please take a look at my neck it has been hurting there for several weeks now.

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Why did the chicken cross the rode? It was being chased by a fox and did not want to be eaten.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I t was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops