My dads so gay he has sex with other men for fun.

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u suck

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Q: what did the dad get for playing baseball with his son? A: a line drive to his balls

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Everyone in the bar is very happy for him considering he has regained the ability to walk

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- Knock knock - Excuse me, I don't have time, my house is on fire ! - We're the firemen.

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Whats the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have a Bar Mitzvah in Holocaust Germany.

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._____________________. Whale!

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Mitt Romney's economic plan for America.

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

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Why did the lights turn off? Because I turned them off.

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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Whats worse than ten dead babies in one tree? I dont know, but that is quite a graphic sight i have in my mind right now.

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Hey, there are 206 bones in the human body, would you like 1 more? ;) If you are referring to your penis, that is made of tissue, so it is not an extra bone. And no, I would not like your penis.

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two cannables walk in to McDonalds

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What can move people but not rocks.. Poop

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong is an astronaut. Michael Jackson abuses little kids.

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why did the man beat his wife because he was mean

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What did the gay guy get at the grocery store? A tub of Häagen-Dazs ice cream because he thought he deserved a treat.

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Whats black, white, and red all over? A severely beaten and bruised man who was found un conscience and robbed in a dark parking lot behind Dennys at 2 o'clock in the morning.

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What's brown and green, has six legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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A Jewish person was found dead in an alley way last night, Hitler did nothing wrong.

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Why did the black man cry? He was grieving the death of his brother C.D

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I went to the zoo the other day there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu. By Nathan Luque CARROTS!!!

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Whats funnier than 24, 69

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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