I have aids

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Why couldn't the girl brush her hair? Because she had leukemia

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What has two legs and is covered in red. Half a dog.

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rose's are red, bananas are yellow, yo mama's so fat she jiggles like jello

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what do abortion and a coat hanger have in common? they both contain 4 vowels

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle."

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OK. so a guy walks up to another guy and says hi. The other guy said nothing. The other guy said hi again. The guy said nothing The guy got really mad and slapppeed him across the face. Finally the man said PURPLE RABBID COMPUTER TREES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and walked away while liking his blue brick.

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What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

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What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? They were both once alive and innocent, I lied about the black guy.

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Why did the car stop? The driver had a stroke

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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A mushroom walks into a bard and the bartender admonishes him and tells him to leave. The mushroom says "Aw, c'mon...you stupid jerk!"

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF 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THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD huh GOT EM

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If at first you don’t succeed, you clearly weren’t the right person for the job. We’re sorry, but we’re going to have to let you go; please collect your belongings and vacate the premises immediately.

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roses are red violets are blue i have a big dick unlike you

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Where did the little boy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What do you call said black man flying an airplane? A pilot.

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How do you make an electrician cry? You cut off his friend's penis.

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a lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for directions. the Bartender takes him into a room and rapes-him

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Why couldnt the black guy swim? He couldn't swim because he had no parental figures growing up. His dad was part of a gang and his mom was a crack addict. He had noone to teach him how to swim.

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What did the unicorn say to the man.\ Nothing unicorns don't exist

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? depends how big the car is!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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