4 gay guys walk into a bar but there is only one bar stool, where do they sit? They go to a different bar

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woman's rights

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What's black and white and red all over? A chess board; I lied about the "red all over" part.

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Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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Knock knock. Whos there? The police, your wife is dead. The police, your wife is dead who? Sir, this isn't a joke.

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What's red and smells like blood? Blood.

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Q: Why are lizards broke? A: Because they run around the desert with no money.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Dead Babies

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun......he is a 25-year veteran SWAT team officer attempting to arrest two armed robbers that have 5 old ladies hostage.

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What can make you pee? Liquid

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Roses are red violets are blue if you were number one I"ll pick number two, if you were number two then I'll pick POO!

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family LOLOLOLOLOLOL

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get hit by a car

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What do you call a man looking at Anti jokes on this ? you

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Whats 2+2=? ?= CHICKEN

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Why did the blind kid hit the other kid in the face? He was trying to give him a high-five.

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What's worse than a spray tan? - A spray tan of hydrochloric acid.

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What's worse than getting an F on your paper? Walking in on a man wearing your mother's skin after vigorously raping her in front of your baby sister.

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Greg told a joke. It wasnt funny...

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Why did the boy get hit by the ice cream truck? The driver of the ice cream truck was drunk

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread, and loaves of bread are incapable of understanding the intricacies of fly-by-wire guidance and propulsion systems.

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Have you got any grapes?" The bartender replies "No." The duck then leaves but returns the next day and again asks, "Have you got any grapes?" And again the bartender answers, "No." This happens again the next day and in annoyance the bartender yells, "If you come in tomorrow and ask if I have any grapes, then I will nail your feet to the floor!" The next day the duck came into the bar and asked, "Have you got any nails?" to which the bartender replied, "Yes." The duck then walked out of the bar

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A brick bent down to suck my flapjack, Then he got stuck, oh what the unpleasant, This angered the brick, he lay on the grass, he shoved a stick straight up his bellybutton.

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A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops